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Who better, then, to instill these beliefs and to encourage good parental practice than parents involved daily in these very struggles and experiences?
From its inception, Project HOPE brought together a diverse group of parents from disparate racial, ethnic and socio-economic backgrounds. These parents then worked for a year to develop a parenting program. Later, they became the recruiters of new parents as well as the facilitators for the training program they designed.
Now starting its fourth year, Project HOPE affords a unique “parent-designed” and “parent-driven” approach to strengthening families and preventing problematic behavior of youth, including teenage pregnancy, school misbehavior, failure and truancy, delinquency, substance abuse and suicide.
The majority of the original parents who developed the program remain involved with it today. Why? They feel more knowledgeable about parenting and about themselves; they feel that they have created and are part of a community of parents; and, most importantly, they express a sense of accomplishment. They are making a difference in others’ lives.
The program that the parents developed lasts 11 weeks. It involves a weekly three-hour meeting that includes a family dinner along with the training session. Seven groups have been recruited and have gone through the training, with 47 individuals graduating.
What do participants say about their experience? They say they have learned that they are not alone in facing the challenges of parenting; other parents have the same problems and feelings. They learn that the problems of parenting cross all lines — ethnic, educational and economic. They report that they learn from other parents and that by the end of the program, they stop and think before reacting to their child. Communication with their child improves. They report being more patient and feeling less guilty. They indicate that they are taking more active roles in monitoring and disciplining their children. They learn that it’s OK to hold their children accountable and to be stricter and more consistent.
“That wouldn’t work with our parents!” one of the Project HOPE parent facilitators, Tim Johns, was told when he spoke about our program at a national conference of family service providers.
Frankly, I’d bet that it would.
Parents who because of their own struggles or those of their children have been involved in social services or the mental-health system often report feeling that they’ve “been through the mill.” They have been told what to do and have been made to jump through hoops. Their mistakes, they have been told, would need to be corrected by the experts and agency personnel. As parents, they have been left feeling alienated and disempowered to change their lives and the lives of their own children.
Project HOPE works differently. It is rooted in the belief that learning more about the day-to-day struggles that other parents experience heightens the likelihood of parental efficacy. People as a rule are significantly influenced by the feedback of others, particularly those with whom they share common bonds and experiences. Project HOPE participants tell us that for those in the throes of raising children and youth, suggestions and help from another parent help to legitimize the process and to empower them as individuals and as agents of change in their families.
For most, the project name HOPE is no longer an acronym, but a new reality in their lives.
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